1. Health Issues

A. Mental Health and the Emotional Damage

The group Narth often states that being gay is a mental illness. Something is wrong with the person. They then go on to cite stats that say gays have more depression, are more prone to committing suicide. We do not deny that this is true. Gays are more depressed. Gays do commit suicide more often. There is substance abuse in the gay community. While the anti-gays will of course blame this on being gay that is another myth. While these awful things do happen to gays it is not because they are gay. Think about it. How would anyone feel having their family, their loved ones, their friends, their government, their church everyone they trust and love turns on them when they come out as gay. Their world is upside down for no other reason than being themselves. Many gays cope and adjust realizing that they are not the problem. But many don't. Many cannot escape the pain inflicted on them. So they devise ways to escape. The cause and effect is not being gay equals psychological issues. The cause and effect is being gay in a judgemental society hostile towards gays equals psychological issues.

Judd Marmor, a psychoanalyst, researcher, and president of the American Psychiatric Association (APA) published a series of papers and books that, with the help of academic medicine, psychiatry and pediatrics, moved the psychiatric profession away from the position that homosexuality was a type of mental illness. Marmor and others (especially Davison) recognized that much of the presumed psychopathology that had been observed by clinicians in so many homosexual persons was a symptom of internalized homophobia from societal stigmatization and not of homosexuality itself. The body politic feared homosexual behavior and did everything possible to prevent homosexuality, control it, and when nothing else worked, punish it.

The experience of discovering one's homosexuality is usually very private because of the negative views of society and religion, so most adolescents do not reveal their distress to anyone for several years. Unlike stigmatized racial minorities, they usually have no family or friends to offer support. It is during this period that they are particularly vulnerable to make unwise decisions, ironically facilitated by church and family members who present homosexuality as uniquely bad.

It is not unusual for professional therapists to see young people who felt driven out of home, church, and even communities because of messages of negativism that pastors and teachers promulgate but did not realize had this effect. To be lonely and depressed and feel driven out into unhealthy parts of society looking for understanding because of discrimination is not healthy.

One study concluded: "Society, by permitting active discrimination and blocking the pursuit of happiness in homosexual men may be actively contributing to the spread of HIV and other STD diseases." Two other studies showed that decriminalization laws led to an improvement in psychological adjustment, a decrease in sexual promiscuity, and a decrease in sexually transmitted diseases in homosexual men. These same coercive discriminatory influences have made many homosexual persons hide their identity in opposite-sex marriages doomed to failure. Suicides and suicidal ideation are significantly higher in homosexual persons than in comparable heterosexual populations for various reasons, including stigma.

From HOMOSEXUALITY:
MEDICAL HISTORY AND CURRENT UNDERSTANDING

http://perham.eot.com/~vati/peterson/hist.html

Yes some gays have psychological problems. Who wouldn't? We are torn down for just being who we were born to be. We are just being true to ourselves. We get harassed, beaten, degraded, murdered, picked on, thrown out of the house all for the fact that we exist. It is amazing that the suicidal statistics are not higher. It is amazing that we are not all on welfare and disability because of this. In spite of it, we are some of the most successful people in the country. We manage to see the truth and over come all the bad.

The sad fact though? Not all of us make it through the pain. Not all of us are strong enough to see that we are not the problem. Some of us, because of what society does to us, succumb to pain. For some of us we are better off dead. How do these anti-gays sleep at night? Their own hatred, their own ignorance, their refusal to look at all the facts, all of that combined is responsible for people dying. Young innocent lives wasted because of a small percent of the population refuses to evolve.

The American Medical Association the American Pediatric Association:

"At a minimum, those in "reparative therapy" must cope with the emotional damage of being relentlessly badgered with fear tactics and being told to change who they are. At worse they are at risk for self-destructive behavior including suicide." http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/archives/2005/07/pflag_statement.html

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1. Depression and Suicide

A. Gay Teens

Mary Lou Wallner and her husband Bob know the damage of "reparative therapy" all too well. Speaking at a recent PFLAG conference in Bothell, Washington, Mary Lou told the audience that her reaction when her daughter came out was based on the teachings of Dr. James Dobson, a leading "reparative therapy" proponent. "I raised my kids on Dobson. I read his books and listened to his radio broadcasts for years. In December of 1988, when she was about 21 years old, my daughter wrote us a letter and told us that she was a lesbian. I flipped out and...the next nine years were pretty stormy. Then in February of 1997, at age 29, she committed suicide."

"Looking back, I think a lot of it had to do with the way I taught her about homosexuality. I have since come to understand that almost anybody gets depressed if they can't be who they really are." http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/archives/2005/07/pflag_statement.html

The Canadian Mental Health Association's Centre for Suicide Prevention has identified gay teens as a potential "high-risk group" for suicide since 2003.

 

Teenage girls that are gay are 5 times more likely to try and commit suicide

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Elizabeth+Saewyc+lesbian+teen+suicide&btnG=Google+Search Google lesbian teen suicide

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1149189012992&call_pageid=991479973472&col=991929131147

But what is most alarming, Saewyc said, is that the research from 1992, 1998, and 2003 shows the increased risk of suicide among the lesbian and bisexual female teens is growing ?from about 1 in 5 in 1992, to 1 in 4 in 1998 and to 1 in 3 in 2003 survey. The rate for heterosexual female teens has stayed the same.

This increase coincides with the anti-gay Bush administration's push for a marriage amendment which sends the message that gays are NOT ok. When you have an administration that is using gays as political pawns this is bound to happen. They might as well pull the trigger.

Saewyc said the debate over same-sex marriage brought many of the messages about being gay into full public debate and young gays are very aware of any of the negative connotations that were depicted.

Nearly 40% lesbian girls say they have attempted suicide in the last year, compared to 8.2 percent of heterosexual girls.

How do the politicians sleep at night? A lot of them have gay children. How do you not stand up for equal rights for your own children? The money and the power is worth that much? These people are a different breed. Their God is the almighty dollar.

When this study came out about the gay teen girls being 5 times more likely to try and commit suicide. James Dobson tries to blame it on gays. http://www.family.org/cforum/news/a0040924.cfm He tries to attribute it to gay rights activists.

http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/index.html

The Author of the study is livid that Dobson "Hi-Jacked" her results and misrepresented them. Did we really expect anything else from this man?

We have a woman whose daughter committed suicide and she directly blames it on James Dobson.

Mary Lou Wallner and her husband Bob know the damage of "reparative therapy" all too well. Speaking at a recent PFLAG conference in Bothell, Washington, Mary Lou told the audience that her reaction when her daughter came out was based on the teachings of Dr. James Dobson, a leading "reparative therapy" proponent. "I raised my kids on Dobson. I read his books and listened to his radio broadcasts for years. In December of 1988, when she was about 21 years old, my daughter wrote us a letter and told us that she was a lesbian. I flipped out and...the next nine years were pretty stormy. Then in February of 1997, at age 29, she committed suicide."

"Looking back, I think a lot of it had to do with the way I taught her about homosexuality. I have since come to understand that almost anybody gets depressed if they can't be who they really are."

Entire article hear: http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/archives/2005/07/pflag_statement.html

It is one thing to have an opinion on this that doesn't effect anyone else. It is quite another to have a huge organization. A radio show that reaches 200 million people. Where you preach blatant lies. People kill themselves because of you. There has to be some responsibility involved. There has to be some repercussions for their actions. Their ex-gay ministries are not licensed or regulated in any way. All licensed professionals agree they are hurting the gay children. People are dying. How many more promising young teens will we have to lose?

While no comprehensive study has been yet carried out into the long-term consequences of conversion therapies, the Schroeder and Shidlo study found that the majority of respondents reported being left in a poor mental and emotional state after the therapy, and that rates of depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug abuse, and suicidal feelings were roughly doubled in those who underwent reparative therapy. Of particular concern was the lack of support given by reparative therapists and counselors to those who found their program to be contributing to psychological distress. Do these reparative therapist really care about their patients? Or are they, as Robert Knight of Concerned Women of America, puts it repulsed by them?

http://gaylife.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=gaylife&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.healthyplace.com%2FCommunities%2FGender%2Fgayisok%2Fsuicide_myths.html suicide facts in general

Gay-Teen Suicide Awareness Ribbon

This ribbon, used mainly online, was created by Xavier Neptus, a personal survivor of attempted teen suicide himself. He was inspired to create this campaign after hearing Jason Bolton, a young man who was thrown out of a suburban Detroit high school for being gay, speak about gay youth suicide at the 1997 Lansing, Michigan Pride March. According to Neptus, the color white was chosen to represent clarity of thought and innocence of youth. Neptus quotes on his site that an American teenager attempts suicide every five because of difficulty dealing with the stresses of being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. By spreading the word about this campaign and recommending professional resources, Neptus hopes to save other young people from suicide.

Trevor project in Los Angeles

Gay teen suicide prevention

http://www.thetrevorproject.org

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There is a one man play about what a gay man in the Mormon faith goes through. It is called Mormonboy and is currently being performed in LA. On the website www.mormanboy.com there is a section for audience feedback about the play. Many of the comments were from gay men that identified with what he went through. Following are some excerpts of what they wrote. It is perfect for this section because it is honest personal stories of the many sad challenges gay Americans are faced with everyday. This is reality. This is life. This is what some humans are doing to others in the name of God. As you read their stories, ask yourself, "is this what God would want?" How do you think God feels when he watches this from above?

http://www.mormonboy.com/audience.htm Great site with comments about the play Mormon boy. Lots of personal stories:

"I was raised one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and like the Mormon faith, Jehovah's Witnesses have a strong belief that homosexuality is wrong. Like many youth struggling with sexual identity I learned to hide mine quite well, and after 4 years of marriage and one beautiful daughter later, I decided to be true to the man I knew I was, and let my family know that I was gay. The one person who struggled with this truth the most was my mom. When I first told her she was hurt, disgusted, angry, concerned, terrified and confused.My mom was concerned about my spiritual life and couldn't understand how I could turn my back on God, and make such a devastating choice. To say the least our relationship had been strained over the years.Up until 2 years ago, neither my mother nor father has ever visited any place I've lived since I moved away some 13 years ago. So this past August when I invited my mom to San Diego for a visit, I was surprised that she accepted. It was during this visit that I decided to engage in an open dialogue about who I was as a man including my sexuality. I had NO idea how it was that I was going to do that. Then in early August I saw your play. It was done so eloquently and so real. So I devised a plan to bring my mom to the show as a way of opening up a dialogue, as there were many aspects of the show that were my life. So without telling her anything about the show, I told her to put on her Sunday best and told her I was taking her to a play. With sweaty palms and a nervous stomach I watched the lights dim and as you came out on stage I thought, "Well, this is it, my mom will either get up and walk out or she'll be touched." Ninety minutes later I looked over and there she sat, she'd sat through the entire play, when she looked at me I knew in that instant she'd never see me the same again. At dinner that night, buffered by my gay friends, my mom asked me if any of your experiences were my experiences, and the questions kept coming, and what came next I could have never anticipated. She began to see me as human, and not gay. I will never have the same relationship with my mom that I had prior to seeing your show.it has grown in ways that I could have only dreamed about. Seeing your very raw human experience and peering into someone else's life, and seeing all the unnecessary pain, gave my mother some perspective on my life that she couldn't have imagined. My mother left to go back home 2 days after seeing your play and we still continue to transform our relationship. Thank you for your contribution to creating dialogue. Not only was your play funny, honest, introspective and real, but it spoke to the human experience of all of us being a true work in progress. It created a place for my mother and I to enjoy a loving, open, honest and respectful relationship, for that I am truly grateful."
--C.D.B., San Diego

"I just wanted to say thank you for such a wonderful job and such an accurate depiction of growing up Mormon and gay. My dad was a Mission President, I served a mission, and I also had many friends in Young Ambassadors.I believe there are so many people in our situation and the church is truly missing some great leaders and participants. I think what you are doing is an incredible service to the community and want to say that you are truly amazing!"
--K.F., California

"I have intended to write ever since I saw your play in San Diego. My partner and I attended the preview night. I enjoyed it very much and found that it revved up lots of feelings and memories for me. I felt the most potent part was when you described your trial with the Stake High Council. Very powerful. Also the part where you told your wife. I loved the Primary songs and other Church hymns, too. One of the things I miss most is the music. Also, I was certainly well aware of Carol Lynn Pearson and her beautiful poetry and story. You are a very good actor, you kept the audience spell-bound, surprised, shocked. Made me think deeply about my own story. I am a 65 year-old ex-Mormon, sixth-generation, BYU grad, temple marriage, 4 children, etc. now an out Lesbian woman. I won't go into my complete story, but your story was very powerful for me. Thank you for going public with your story. Thank you for your courage. I believe that all of us gay folk have powerful stories, but I believe that the gay folk who are/were Mormons have especially powerful stories because of the Church and membership in it being what it is."
--A.K., San Diego

"I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. When we spoke, I mentioned that my wife gave me, Good-bye, I Love You to read while we were still married and expecting a child. That book affected my life greatly. It was partially due to that book that I had the courage to accept my own sexuality, consequently get a divorce, and begin my life as an openly gay man. At the time, I remember thinking that with the exception of Gerald's name and his religion, I was reading my own story. I was confused, scared, and very alone. I had thoughts of running away from my family and friends to some place where no one would know me, because the overwhelming feelings of guilt were too much to handle. Suicide was even an option for a while. It was the night my son was born, that I realized I had been lying to the world, to my family, to my wife and even myself, and all of that was okay. But holding my son that night, I realized that I could not lie to him. I finally accepted that I was gay, a queer, a homo, a fag, and every other derogatory name in the book and that was okay. In fact, it wasn't just okay, it was (and still is) a good thing. A very good thing! It was because of Carol Lynn Pearson's book that I joined the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus and sang with them for 7 years. It was then, while singing with the chorus, that I met my lover. To this day, he is still the single most influential person I have ever had in my life. And in some strange way, I have Carol Lynn and her book to thank for it. It was only by chance that I attended your performance this evening. A couple of friends mentioned they were going to a show at Diversionary and asked if I was interested in going, too. I knew nothing of the show, and thought it would be a fun night out with friends. It was when you mentioned Good-bye, I Love You in the performance that I began to get an odd sensation. It was as if I had been drawn back many years and was reliving many feelings all over again. It has stirred up many emotions inside of me, and it will take some time to sort through and understand them. There must be a reason for this emotional roller coaster, and I think this show is somehow significant for my life. When I returned home this evening, the first thing I did was to get out my copy of Carol Lynn's book. I want to re-read it, and remember that time of my life. The second thing I did was to sit and write this letter. So thank you again for your play and your performance. I apologize for my babbling on like this, but the show has affected me greatly and I thought you might like to know."
--J.D., San Diego

"Just wanted to drop you a quick note and tell you how much I enjoyed your performance tonight. It can't be easy turning your life into a one-man show, but you pulled it off with style and grace. Your story is inspiring to so many young people who are going through similar challenges. In our group tonight was a young Mormon man who lost his father in May and who was just this week outed to his mother.you have given him a new outlook on life. Thank you for all that you do."
--R.L., California


"I saw your play on Saturday night. We all loved it. I came to see the play with a good friend. Both of us grew up in Mormon families. I assume there will be other like us, interested in your play for many reasons?among them the connection to our childhoods. You mention the songs in Primary, and those are the things I remember most. You did a great job on the play and I'm so glad for you that you found your way to your real self. I'm just sorry people put so many road blocks on your path, but for all of time, people have done terrible things claiming religion as the reason. Good for you for navigating your way around the roadblocks."
--S.L.A., San Diego


"I just wanted to thank you for an extraordinary experience. I have seen your play twice already and if I get a chance, I'm sure I will see it again. I grew up Mormon as well in the Salt Lake area. I struggled with my sexuality for many years trying to deny my true self and be what I thought I should be. I had a voice that would guide me in my decisions to make me a ?good boy.' The voice told me to join the Marine Corps to convince myself that I was not gay. I thought to myself if I could make it through boot camp I couldn't be gay. I thought this was a better option than a mission because I would not have to spend so much time and limit my free time to doing things with just men. Shortly after boot camp I realized there was no denying who I was. I kept it secret for a short while but finally told my family and close friends. Since coming out I still did not truly except myself. I've had several damaging relationships, involvement with drugs, making porn, selling myself, and testing HIV+. All of this came about because I was not comfortable with myself and tried to make myself what I perceived the gay community to be. After hitting bottom a few years ago, I was forced to take a good look at my life and decide what direction I want to take. Through this process I have come to love myself for who I am. I know I still have a lot to do, but life is getting better. I really appreciate you for putting your story out for the world to see. It helps me to know that someone else has had similar feelings and experiences. I wish you the best of luck."
--D., California

"Your story touched me and in particular your commitment and love for your children..I am raising my 16 year old son and we have been walking (and crawling) through some challenging times. You are a beautiful man with a beautiful story. Your courage is a beautiful legacy to give your children. I am sending you my love and good energy for what ever is the next step. I am not financially able to contribute to your dream, but I do believe in what you are doing. I am praying for you and your family. I do believe in miracles and am holding you to the light."
--C.G., San Diego

"I wanted to congratulate you again on a great show! You're very brave to put your life on stage and I respect that a lot. I was very pleased to find out that Landmark Education had made such a big impact in your life. It was nice talking with you after the show."
--J.G., San Diego

"If your show ever makes it to Chicago, please let me know, I would honestly be delighted to buy tickets for a small group. I came out to my parents when I was 24. It took a great deal of courage, even with very, very liberal and accepting parents, so I must say that it must have been considerably more complicated and difficult for you. I'm sure you are as happy with your decision to be true to yourself and the world as I have been with my decision to do the same. It frustrates me to no end to meet so many men who try to crush themselves into the "All American Male" mold. It's painful, self-destructive, and I'm sure you understand that it can hurt others. Our society has a very far way to go and hence I'm very proud that you have a production such as this. Every drop of education our stone-age society can get will help.in time. Please keep up the good work and don't lose patience. There are so many men out there who need to see something like this."
--T., Chicago

"Thank you for stopping by the café and speaking with my friend and I after the matinee. Again, what a touching and heartfelt story you told in such a memorable way. Your talents as an actor and vocalist are showcased so very beautifully through your personal work of art. You were certainly meant to find your way to the place you are today so that you can share your insights with others. The best to you and your children. As a parent myself, always remember that you are creating a legacy for them that I am sure they will be forever grateful."
--Cheryl S., San Diego

"The play's the thing and...and so is the actor! Steven, I saw you in the Chicago production and then again in San Diego. It was as fresh and original the second time around as the first! I also had the opportunity to see another one-person performance while in San Diego.both explored the dynamics of an individual's quest to step out and find their place in the world, taking the risks that most other people would never attempt! That, is the crucial element for great story-telling and not only I is the journey compelling, but the person telling it is wildly fascinating. Thank you for the experience that inspires all of us to rise to the challenge of risk-taking. That aspect connects all of our stories. Keep telling it."
--Michael K., Chicago


"I was a bit overwhelmed when I met you yesterday. It took me a little while to process. Your story was truly wonderful to experience. Thank you for sharing it. You seemed a bit surprised when I introduced you to my husband, Joe, because it would have made more sense, given my overwhelmed state, had I been gay. But I'm not. That isn't where I feel the connection to your story.I felt so tuned into your journey to find yourself.My journey to honesty with myself and learning how to take responsibility while getting to know how to live my life with integrity and purpose was different than yours in many ways. I was abused as a child many times and then again over and over as I grew up.The dynamics of the church, as you know, aren't all that fostering to an individual who wants to get more answers than the brethren want to give. I didn't understand how things could keep going on and on forever as they were since the way they were wasn't working for me. I had a mental disorder and worked very hard to get well. Part of that process was to give up my four beautiful children.That part of your story so resonated with me. As well as your swings from one part of the spectrum to another.From my teens, I never felt comfortable in the church and it took me years to figure out that God wasn't the Mormon Church. But, when I did, it helped me to get well so much faster. In any case, Steven, you have inspired me. Your willingness to put yourself out there and be truthful not with just yourself but with anyone that is drawn to your story is amazing."
--LPC, Los Angeles Area

"In my long-winded way, I simply wanted to write you and say ?thank you' for doing what you are doing. Your show connected with me in so many ways. I am a practicing Mormon, a staunch Republican, and a proud member of the U.S. military (and an officer at that!). I truly love life, and I'm so proud to do what I do in the military. Oh, and yes, by the way, I'm also gay even though I am not allowed to say so in any of my operating circles. So yes, I'm deep in the closet. I've even come close to getting married but deep inside I felt I just couldn't do that to the woman I was seeing. So yes, back to your play I was lucky enough to see tonight. I kept smiling afterwards, just as you note we Mormons do. It was a true smile, because you were so good and the subject so well portrayed for us. But as the show ended, inside, I began to cry. That's because I felt it was so true, and it reminded me just how alone it can be with these struggles deep inside. On so many levels I could feel what you were talking about. I know I am who and what I am, and that includes being a Mormon Republican military officer who is gay, thus needing to stay quiet for now. But for now, it felt so good to watch you tonight. Your play moved me so much?never before have I ever put to print the fact that I am gay, but I had to write this note to you this evening."
--Name withheld, Southern California

"Thank you for bringing your story to San Diego.The beginning of your life up to your excommunication was almost my own journey, only I'm Catholic. My gosh, but nearly every time you described something you did or felt, it was as if you and I had both been there.You did what "good normal" Mormon boys do?you went on a two-year mission and then came home to get married. My Catholic version was to become the most informed apologetical defender of Catholic orthodoxy as I prepared to enter seminary and study for the priesthood which came to a crashing end in 2000. You church elders and my relatives all said the same things when they found out we were gay. We both loved our faiths, got burned by them, and rose above them to respond to the voice of God calling us to higher spiritual achievement. You were formally excommunicated. I knew I was without anyone telling me, since I began denying dogmas that carried ipso facto excommunication whether or not the church proclaimed it. After I came out "to myself" in 1995 at the age of 25, I spent seven years until 2002 passing through the emotional spectrum of realization-shock, denial, fear, panic, despair, self-hatred, depression, suicidal tendencies, curiosity, determination, faith, perseverance, honesty, truth-seeking, courage, resolution, hope, love, joy, relief, tears, rears, and more tears.Steven, I wanted to shake your hand in person Friday night, but circumstances did not permit it. I would say your life has been more difficult than mine, particularly since you passed through an era of prostitution and drug abuse that I never knew. But I wish all of my closed minded, judgmental, hypocritical relatives and Catholic friends could know that my situation is neither unique nor disordered.that other gay men and women like you and me die a hundred crucifixions to finally resurrect in God's grace. If only our narrow friends and relatives could see that they were the ones who nailed us to our own personal crosses with their cruel and misinformed beliefs. Not that either of us is at the summit of our existence now that yesterday's dust is settling. The journey (or ?the show' in your case) is just beginning. Being out, free, and honest completely brightens the view that we now have with renewed eyes that look through lenses of true faith, hope, and love. Best of luck with your show. I hope it touches many more people and that you never get burnt out offering it. Whether or not you realized it that night, I was an anonymous young man offering standing applause in the back row not just for your performance, but in giving thanks to God for his many wonderful blessings. Hearing your story was one of the most remarkable religious experiences I can recall having on a Friday night in ages."
--J.H., San Diego

"You definitely have the spiritual connection?I see it in your eyes?don't lose it and God be with you in your adventures."
--K.M., San Diego

"Thank you so much for a wonderful performance and infinite messages. Your play is and will be an inspiration to countless people locked away in their own personal closets. Wishing you the best of luck and a life full of possibilities.and I can only guess how far you will go off Broadway and then on Broadway!"
--W.K., San Diego

"I was just writing to thank you for emailing me your story. My brother is a gay man and my sister being a lesbian, has made me realize a lot about the gay community. I am extremely proud of both my brother and sister for coming out. I am a straight woman but couldn't have asked for a better, stronger, and loving brother and sister. Since my family members have come out I have done everything to support them. I attend all the pride just so I can be a part of their lives and just wish more family members would be more understanding and by their sides like I was. My brother lives in San Diego so I am always going out with him and his friends. My brother and I became even closer after he came out to me. I just wanted to say thank you for your story and keep doing what you're doing and always stay strong."
--M.T., Lake Elsinore, CA


"I am from Venezuela and I have been a convert for 27 years. I served my mission in Venezuela and I graduated from BYU. Thank you for telling your story. It hit me very deeply.3 months ago, I became totally inactive and I am no longer attending my singles ward ever since I embraced and accepted myself as gay. My feelings and desire is that I want to act upon my feelings and find a fulfilling relationship with a guy but I know this goes against the teachings of the church and this internal conflict is eating me alive. Sometimes I tell Heavenly Father why then I was not born female if I was going to go through this predicament. I am not trying to say that I am not happy being a man. Just that sometimes it is so hard to reconcile what you feel with the teachings of the church."
--Name withheld, Southern California


"I am writing this email to thank you and congratulate you on your monologue play. I am impressed with the whole production. As I get to know more LDS folk, I am learning more about what it is like being LDS. Going to your performance let me see the other side of the Church. I myself am a protestant Christian. I am facing similar issues as you for being gay and trying to be a God fearing Christian. I thank God for people like you and friends of mine who help me see the other side of issues and try to reconcile all these. I think you will be successful one day and you will be an icon for all the hundreds and thousands of gay Mormons."
--J.H., Salt Lake City

"I saw your play several weeks ago and have not been able to stop thinking about it since. You might remember that I came and talked with you briefly after the show. There were so many other things I wanted to say but couldn't, because I was afraid of bursting into tears at any minute. Luckily, I waited until I was alone in my car to cry uncontrollably! I cannot even begin to tell you how your play affected me. I am ?a good Mormon girl' who grew up in Salt Lake City, served on Seminary Council in high school and went to BYU. A few years ago, I became interested in HIV/AIDS and started volunteering at the Utah AIDS Foundation. It was then that I realized how many people in my own religion deal with the issue that the Church calls ?same sex attraction.' Though I believe in and love my religion with all my heart, this issue is rarely addressed or talked about and I think it needs to be. Your play reveals what happens in the heart and soul of a person when he has to fight against himself, because he has been told he is going against God. While I don't personally deal with this issue, I have several friends who do. The part of your play that most affected me is when you tell of being excommunicated. You said how completely devastated you were and that the only comfort you received was when you felt a voice telling you, ?I am so much larger than this church.' Just thinking about it now makes me want to start crying again, because I know what you felt is right. I think that every Mormon should see this play (and every other person, for that matter). Thank you for broadening my perspective. Thank you for giving me a glimpse into your life and how difficult it has been for you and other people like you. Thank you for not being bitter against the LDS religion or God in general. Thank you for speaking frankly about an issue that most Mormons want to forget about and pretend does not exist. I wish you all the luck and success in the world and I cannot wait to see your play again soon."
--K.T., Salt Lake City


"I got so much out of your performance; you're a grand actor and a beautiful singer. Up until the part of you being an escort you could have been reading from my journal. I'm a returned missionary, divorced, father of two, who found it very healing to hear such a similar story. I just wanted you to know that in addition to a splendid performance, your message was strong, clear and I'm sure inspirational and informative to many. You're such a good missionary."
--J.A., Salt Lake City

"I wanted to thank you for your sincere, honest manner in portraying the trials and tribulations you went through. One of the things I truly admired about you is how you faced your fears. A lot of what you said in your play hit home with me. I have no bitter feelings toward the church. In fact, I attend off and on. One of the things I learned through your play is the only way to be happy is to face your fears. Thanks for enlightening my life."
--D., Atlanta

"I don't happen to be gay myself, but I was impressed with your courage to open yourself up like that. In spite of the fact that you have delivered your ?confession' many times over, I could still feel the pain you went through as you steered between what you felt was right and what those you loved felt was right. I could relate because of my divorce two years ago. I can certainly relate to how difficult it is to leave the Mormon religion without feeling forced to condemn everything about it as some would want you to do. I wanted to let you know that your message transcends just a homosexual issue."
--M.K., Salt Lake City

"I have a deep respect that you found yourself in a situation and instead of griping about it, have done something positive. I used to work for a charity where we helped people who were both deaf AND blind, and that was described as being ?the loneliest condition in the world'?I would say being a gay Mormon is a close second to that."
--P., London


"Thank you for verbalizing many things I have been through. Especially moving was your comment saying God knows us and is bigger than the Church . . . it touched me especially strong."
--S.G., Salt Lake City


"I had the luxury of seeing your show today at the Fringe Festival in NYC. As an avid theatre-goer, rarely does a piece move me beyond my wildest dreams. I cannot even begin to express the emotions and feelings that went through me as I sat and watched you tell your story on stage. You were boldly candid, charming, intelligent, honest, and daring. As a 23-year-old gay male, it is wonderful to see someone emerge as a role model. A lot of what you said today is going to stay in my head and I can't help but thank you for giving me insight into how others struggle and cope. Again, I truly cannot express how your show moved me, the correct words simply do not exist."

"Thanks for the show last Friday. I came and saw it with a bunch of my ex-Mormon friends. As an "ex-Fundamentalist" myself, I could relate to much of it. It was well-written, well-acted, and well-directed. Congratulations."
--A.B., New York City


"We tried 3 times to see your show at the Fringe Festival and you were sold out every time. Both sides of my ex-husband's family are descended from pioneers who followed Brigham Young into the Salt Lake. I wish we could've seen your play and sincerely hope you bring it to Atlanta some day."
--J.B.L., Atlanta

"Watching your show was very entertaining and educational for me. It has given me insight on gay Mormons and will hopefully make it easier for me to date here in SLC. You are very brave and many people owe you a great debt for having the courage to share your journey."
--T.M., Salt Lake City

"I'm the psychotherapist who spoke to you briefly after your performance yesterday. I would like to suggest that you find a way to make a DVD of Confessions of a Mormon Boy. I think it would be great if it could reach as wide an audience as possible. So nice that you know the answer to your childhood question, ?Can I begin now?'"
--DL, New York City

"I attended your last show at the Fringe Festival and I want to tell you how impressed I was with your performance and your play. Slowly but surely, the play has worked its way into my psyche and I have been playing it over and over in my mind ever since. Your work pushed many of my own ?buttons' and I am surely a better man for having experienced your performance. If the description of good theatre is to inspire, to provoke and to renew . . . you have certainly created ?good theatre.' Your brutal honesty and the ingenious incorporation of farce juxtaposed with unaffected suffering . . . was courageous and theatrically cunning. ." "
--RB, New York City

"I went to your performance Sunday at the Fringe Festival. Thank you. It was great. I have been thinking a lot about it since, and I think that is the sign of a real work of art. Thank you for showing the Church in a fair and candid manner. It has been hard ?coming out' over the last few years, as the church has been such a part of my life. I have come across many people who are happy to say that Mormons are the devil incarnate. It is more difficult to find someone who acknowledges that leaving the church was difficult. Thanks for helping me put a lot of this together. Thanks for making me feel not so lonely for a hundred minutes on Sunday."
--D.B., New York City

"You genuinely moved me. I'm also married and have a daughter. I deeply love them both, but can't deny my ?SSA'. At the end of the play I had tears in my eyes and was embarrassed to talk to you in the hallway with so many people around. Now I regret not having given you a big hug and thanking you for your gallantry in telling us your personal story. I wish you all the best and success. Your children shall be proud of you."
--R, New York City

"I just saw this afternoon's performance of your play, and I write to tell you what you surely already know: it is a lovely, exhausting, excruciating, engrossing, and even ennobling, but always beautiful piece of work. At most Fringe productions, it is enough to bare witness to the sheer energy, but here the energy was infused with intelligence and pain and grace. Thank you for a remarkable bit of theatre - remarkable both in conception and execution. I shall remember it. And you."
--N.J., New York City

"I found your performance very moving on many different levels. You share an intensely personal series of chapters in your life with courage and panache, addressing issues taboo and mundane that face many of us as gay men (and many of us in recovery) at one time or another. Thank you. The highest accolade I can give a performer or playwright is ?You made me think'?bravo! You did."
--R.C., Palm Springs

"Thank you so much for presenting your life on stage last night. Though they were your words and your experiences, it was as if I was watching my life being played out on stage. So very much of the same experiences you have had in your life mirror mine."
--S.N., Palm Springs

"I went to your performance at the NCTC tonight and I wanted to say I found it funny, sad, warm, and moving. I believe you're touching many people and, besides being entertaining, your work is important. Thanks for a wonderful evening."
--C.K., San Francisco

"Great performance, I really enjoyed it. As a gay, 30-something (recovering) Mormon, I identified completely (although I skipped the mission and straight marriage). I always like hearing others with that background tell their story, particularly as you did on stage in such an engaging and touching manner. Best of luck in your upcoming projects!"
--J.S., San Francisco

"I have raved about your show to friends. Really good theatre in South Florida can be like a really good-looking hair system on a straight man."
--A.M., Miami

"God bless you, Steven. I hope you have seen the last of the terrible pain that you had to go through in the trials of your youth. Keep up the good work, the religious abuse must be brought to the attention of the world as most religions seem to dwell mostly on sex instead of love. Someday perhaps we will hear the clergy deliver the true words of God."
--L.B., Miami

"You and your play were fantastic. There is no doubt in my mind that this is Tony material and if I were you I would expect it. I find myself having to scramble all of my closest friends in Miami area to insist that they catch your play before it is gone. My friends in the New York area will also be alerted to a "must see" play and performance. Comments from an elderly lady in the ladies' room was ?if I had known what the play was all about, I wouldn't have gone, but I didn't and I am so happy I had the opportunity to be here." You've got a winner and I wish you the best. I want you on Broadway and want to be there to see it."
--G.N., Miami

"You became a different person when you shed the ____. It was hard to believe you were the same person who had led us through the rollercoaster of events that make up your life. You are a talented actor, and you have written a moving story with strong values. You are a proud and committed father?it is one of the strongest messages of your play."
--G.Z., Miami


"I was extremely impressed with your candor, wit, writing, and acting. Confessions of a Mormon Boy was unlike anything I've ever seen."
--G.R., New York City/Miami

"Brilliant. Not only are you doing yourself a therapeutic favor telling your compelling story to the world, but you help out so many others who may identify with so much of what you went through. You story is real and the world needs to hear it. Thanks for putting it in such a palatable, fun, and moving way."
--M., Miami

"My partner, Mark, and I saw your show Saturday night in Miami. With a title like that, what gay Mormon could stay away? Your play brought back so many memories. Your becoming an escort didn't surprise me. The pattern my friends and I noticed was that when Mormon boys ?come out' and leave their conservative black and white world they go wild. We did. Most of us discover that an unrestrained life is equally unsatisfying as our strict upbringing and we find new life and live it following the middle path. We both enjoyed the play and from the comments we heard from the audience after the show, everyone else did as well."
--L., Miami

"Wow! I saw your performance Friday night. I had no interest in doing so, knowing that it would stir up all my &#%@ and would be dragged through my past as well. That did happen the other night, but in the end my friends got a chance to get to know a major part of who I am through watching you. They have all heard pieces, but from one dramatic queen to another, we know that telling whole story serves a lot more bang for the buck then just random pieces. I just wanted to reach out and tell you from another voice in the world that you are not alone and what you are doing is very powerful and very important. Your story moved me deeply and my life is honored through your bravery."
--M.S., Miami


"First, I wanted to let you know that I saw your production last night and was very moved. It was beautifully written and brilliantly acted. My partner was raised in Salt Lake City with a Mormon upbringing and to say the least felt quite a bit validated by you and your play. Thank you for baring your soul. It was beautiful."
--K.P., Miami

"WOW!!! I am just back from reviewing your August 11 matinee performance at NCTC in San Francisco. So much better than I expected. Your writing was brilliant. I particularly liked the way you squeezed in bits of humor and currency among the profoundly moving story of a Mormon Boy dealing with sexual orientation, religion, family, and love. It seemed totally real. Your acting was incredible. I felt like applauding your songs but didn't even though your voice deserved it. You did an excellent job of portraying different people. Your transitions to different characters and situations was flawless. I was completely pulled into your character and situation. I think your children will be truly and rightfully proud of their father."
--Bob Latham, www.q-zine.com, San Francisco

"My partner and I saw your play Saturday night in Las Vegas. Sunday will be our 5th anniversary. The one problem is that he is a Mormon and I am a Catholic. After your play (which was wonderful) during the drive home, we had the most productive conversation about his feelings and his family that we have ever had in the five years we have been together. Thank you for helping me to understand a man that I love and have spent 5 years of my life with. Thank you for helping me to feel that there is another 5 years and then another and then another in this relationship. Thank you for helping him to be able to speak about his issues to me for the first time in our relationship. Thank you for being Steven Fales and for being strong enough to be the Steven Fales that can continue to help total strangers like myself. You, Emily, and your children will remain in my prayers."
--M.Y., Las Vegas

"I can't begin to tell you how greatly I enjoyed your performance. It is rare to see a production that speaks so deeply to you. Your writing was like a masterful poet's. The contrasting humor/seriousness, pain/pleasure, conservative/liberal, straight/gay and happiness/sadness themes that ran through the play were well timed and really contributed to a whole experience. I can't tell you how moved I was when you were hearing the church elders that you were being excommunicated for something that they claimed didn't exist. Then you heard another voice that said, "I am God and I am so much bigger than any church." I began to cry. I have struggled with agnosticism and my Catholic upbringing. I find that it is easier to tell people that I do not believe in God rather than explain that my concept of God is nothing like the ?god' contrived by various religions. Your line really hit home and made me rediscover that God is so much bigger than any theory conceived by man's brain. My partner and I both were moved beyond words. We found ourselves walking down Market Street unable to formulate a sentence to describe the rush of feelings we had just experienced. Laughing and crying at the same moment. I can only hope that this grows in popularity and comes to Washington D.C. or New York, so that I may bring friends to see it and hopefully have a similar experience as I did."
--C.G., San Francisco

"The performance was great and the subject matter touch oh! So close to home. More humans -both Mormon and non-Mormon?in various venues need to hear your heart-wrenching story, in your strong yet balanced voice."
--R.N., San Francisco

"My partner and I feel fortunate to have seen your show tonight. It was revealing, moving, complex, energetic, and uplifting. Thanks for sharing your story."
--P.C., San Francisco

"Your performance was overwhelming -moving, funny, entertaining, sexy, and honest. A lot of us in the audience were in tears many times during the play. I am a member of the church - though not active now. I wasn't raised a Mormon, though, but all the things you said and how you said it with the look on how you said it, man, it was right on target. You gave up a half-life for a full one. It's hard to measure losses like that. But I saw it in your face, in your stance and in the way you said it. You understand. You have a special connection with us in the audience. I don't go to a lot of plays, but I was never so moved in so many ways, even to tears before your play. Thank you. You were terrific and everyone in the audience was profoundly moved. I noticed several people wiping tears as they left."
--M.O., San Francisco


"I would like to make special comment about the line during the New York Gay Scene sequence. Tears came to my eyes in empathy and sympathy?and it was to me the climax of the whole presentation when you said, "I gave up hugging time for this?!" That was one of the most heart-piercing lines I have ever heard, in context to lines in King Lear, Chekhov, and Ibsen. The Great Salvation, also turned out equally to be a cul de sac, and possibly less satisfactory than the first one. The Gay Scene turned out to be just another room in the hell that your life had become. We know. We understand. I shall never forget that little line; it is like the moment of King Lear's belief that his most beloved daughter does not love him. You have a beautiful speaking and singing voice. You look beautiful. You act extremely well. What a gifted person you are! And you have already been through hell and perdition and back. Steven Fales, may the rest of your life be a song, and may you always have joy in singing it."
--R.H., San Francisco

"I hope someone at PBS would consider airing your story (in interview and/or play form) to reach the non-theatre going masses."
--G.R., San Francisco

"This is out of character for me to write, but I really wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for you and your show. I sat during the performance in amazement and in some pain as well. As you have probably been told time and time again, you told my story except I went a step further. I was in the ?professional' ministry for 23 years. When you concluded with, ?Heavenly Father, Thank you for my life' I was moved. I've thought about it all day. I want that for me, too."
--D.M., San Francisco

"You probably get a million email responses about your one-man play and the impact you made, but I just wanted to say ?thanks.' Your play was almost a mirror statement of my trials and tribulations as a member of the Church and my search for my ?true self.'"
--E.E., Las Vegas

"I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas with my boyfriend and wanted to let you know how much we enjoyed your performance. It was a complete accident that we found out about the show, but when we saw the poster, we knew we had to go. We were scared that perhaps it was a story that would end up preaching to us about ?although you may have strayed from the church, it's not too late. We can fix you.' I have to admit, we were very surprised at how the show turned out. My boyfriend was born in St. George, Utah. Not being LDS, I could not personally relate to many of the things you talked about, but . . .numerous times felt my eyes well up with tears. I looked over at my boyfriend and he was sitting there, so quietly, staring at the stage, watching you perform with tears running down his cheek like I've never seen before. Your message in the end was stunning. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard and I thank you so much for having the courage to put this together and share your life with others. I'm writing to you today to let you know that although I cannot stop talking about what a wonderful performance it was, more importantly I wanted to let you know just how much this performance meant to both of us. You touched a part of his soul that not many people would ever be able to and you let him know that everything will be ok. He walked out of the performance, dried his eyes, looked at me and told me just how much he thanked God for his blessings. He knows he has many as I do. Thanks, Steven. Many blessings to you."
--R.H., Las Vegas

"I just wanted to say many thanks for sharing your story, my story, and the story of so many others in Confessions of a Mormon Boy. You articulated so perfectly the feelings, emotions, experiences, and the journey of self-discovery that comes from being LDS and also finding that one is gay. I wish I could afford to fly out my parents, brother, his family, ex-wife and friends to see your show so that they could get a better feel for what I have been through. I look forward to your biography and will purchase copies for them so that they can perhaps gain an inner insight to what it really has been like going through what we have been through. I guess one of my greatest wishes is that now at last someone has created something that will way down the line help my daughter to have a better understanding as to why I was not in the same home she was as she was growing up (she is now only 2). I can only imagine some of the emotions that you must have gone through in being so honest and open about your life. Many, many thanks, Steven, for not being afraid to say it as it was. I really do wish you every success in your upcoming production, especially in NY?rather selfish I guess as the greater success there then the increased possibility of you being able to come over to London to share your story and talents here in the U.K."
--I.H., England

"It was my great pleasure to attend the matinee of Confessions of a Mormon Boy in Las Vegas yesterday. Confessions is more than an outstanding play: it is a deeply moving one that achieves the perfect balance between humor and serious, insightful introspection. Your acting added a great deal to the performance. Your body language is absolutely perfect. I found myself roaring with laughter, but then dissolving in tears as some of the more somber aspects of your experience were revealed."
--R.B.S., Las Vegas

"Change the name, change the denomination to Lutheran, and almost all of what you described, lived and experienced mirrored my own life."
--J.H., Las Vegas


"I wish that everyone could somehow be required to see this . . . it should be something that should be shown in every high school . . . it should be made into a teleplay. Frankly, your message is so important. Your story was so poignant and meaningful because it wasn't a work of fiction. You weren't an actor, playing a role. You were yourself, telling your story (which by the way I found brilliantly written). Although the story was sad, somehow you made it light and fun and frankly, non-threatening to anyone."
--S., Las Vegas

"I saw your play in Las Vegas. I cried and laughed with you. So much of what you went through is my own life. Thank you for expressing it in a beautiful spiritual way."
--R., Las Vegas

"Was deeply touched by it. Was glad to see that you were not negative towards the church. That has been the one thing that bugs me about gay members of the church. A lot of them seem to lash out at the church. The production to me showed how well you had thought out how you would convey your story. I hope several get your message and that this helps others who are struggling. Glad to see what a great impact the gospel has had on your life. You seem to be an intelligent individual with a great spirit. I will say I thought about the show and you and your life all night long. I felt a great spirit there and all night long, in knowing that I made the right decision 20 years ago to come out and accept myself and be who I am."
--C.F., Las Vegas

"I just had to write and tell you how much I enjoyed your play last night. It moved me more than I can express. What a beautiful story told by a beautiful person. Thank you, I have not felt the spirit that powerfully in ages."
--T.G., Las Vegas


"I just wanted to drop you a quick note and thank you, again, for sharing your story and for a well-orchestrated, touching piece of theater. I thought about the play throughout the weekend. The honest and open style in which you chose to base your play is admirable and brave and your performance was equally impressive. I'll be sure to recommend your show to my friends."
--J.W., San Francisco

"I identified to a lot of the performance, as I too am a 30-something gay Mormon divorced father."
--A.V., San Francisco

"Thanks, too, for the information about being the dad of a Mormon daughter. It is a relief to find an objective point of view. Current Mormons or people who have left the church and have little good to say about it have not been good sources of information on parenting. You appear to use your gifts well."
--J.L., San Francisco

"I felt my own story being shown as you conveyed it through your performance. It was cathartic for me. I laughed and cried through it all. I brought my partner and a couple of friends to your play. They really came away with some more understanding of coming out in the Mormon world. I wish I could have met you and thank you personally. I did get your poster and it will be framed and posted on a wall in my home. It will remind me of my continuing journey and of your performance that touched me deeply."
--J.L., San Francisco

"I saw Confessions last weekend and was deeply touched by it. I grew up in the Dutch Reformed Church in South Africa and I felt that many parallels could be drawn between your experience and mine. The dogma might be different. However, dealing with the experience of becoming fully truthful to who I really am WHILE confronting this in the context of a religion that sees homosexuality as a sin left me feeling all the same. This note is to commend you for taking the bold move to tell your personal story. Thank you for sharing your experience. I certainly got something from this, as I am sure many others did as well."
--K.N., San Francisco

"I'm not sure how to express what an impact your show had on me last night. It was by far the most moving, personal, and touching presentation I have ever seen. You had me laughing, crying, and confronting several memories I had blocked out. I wish you the very best with your show and can't wait to see the next act. As several people mentioned last night (Mormon and non-Mormon alike) you will go huge with this show because everyone can relate."
--D.B., San Francisco

"I personally felt touched during the revelation scene of the reading of the verdict from the "court of love" about knowing that God loves you and that he is bigger than the Church. That's similar to what my own father has been telling me as I face my own possible excommunication from the Church. My friend was especially moved during the funeral scene. He mentioned he was almost in full blown tears near its end."
--M., San Francisco

"Thank you for an extraordinary moving experience. Arthur Miller said once that the difference between an ordinary evening in the theatre and a great one is that with the latter there are gasps of recognition from the audience as they realize it is their own story being enacted in front of them. That was my experience last night. To say that your story, and especially your enacting of it, was compelling is faint praise. I have seen a lot of plays in my lifetime, including this year's Pulitzer Drama winner on a recent NYC trip. But the truth of Arthur Miller's observation was far more, well, dramatic, last night in the last row at NCTC last evening. My eyes had already been brimming with tears several times, both from laughter and sadness, before the ?excommunication scene.' But that scene, and especially the pain in your face and voice as you asked, ?where is the love?' did me in. 40 years ago I made vows as a member of a Catholic religious order. Last night, when you so poignantly asked, ?Where is the love?' you connected with a bulls-eye, emotionally and spiritually, to me in the last row. My eyes flooded with tears and I felt one with you in your pain, frustration, hurt, and outrage. It was the most powerful moment I've had in a theatre in a very long time."
--J.F., San Francisco

"Thoroughly enjoyed it. You were able to sustain just the right tone, not too whiney, not too self-deprecating, and certainly not too bitter. So glad that you're willing to tell your story?a story that's familiar to so many gay ex-Mormons. I've heard it in bars, in restaurants, in the homes of friends, but never on the stage of a theater. I'm sure it's had a cathartic effect on you and many members of your audience. I particularly liked your oh-so-accurate description of the church in your interview with the stake president. I'm so glad you're taking your show to New York. Everyone?gay or straight, Mormon or non-Mormon?will be thoroughly entertained and given some food for thought."
--L., San Francisco

"I just wanted to thank you for FINALLY putting into words what so many of us have gone through. As an LDS lesbian who grew up in Ogden, Utah, my experience mirrored yours. It was soooooooo funny to witness your scene with the therapist who used kinesiology on you. I, too, was told that I must have undergone some trauma as a fetus. How bizarre is that?"
--J.T., Las Vegas

"It is nice to see that even though we have different religious backgrounds that most of your life experiences are similar."
--B., Las Vegas

"Your story is truly captivating and moved me in a way that I have rarely been moved by a performance. You bring the story to life in a very simple and honest way with great theatrical forethought and restraint. Your performance really drew me into your story. My story is very similar to yours in many ways but also very different?Baptist family in a small town in Michigan. I hope that your story will touch many in the way it has touched me and that your effort to condemn the church for excluding us without damning them and your efforts to provide a way out for others who have been caught up in the sex hustle without damning them will succeed."
--R.H., San Francisco

"I guess you get e-mails by the hundreds and you should because you are fantastic, yet for me this is definitely a first, that an actor touched me so deeply that I am sitting down and writing about it. I was sitting in the first row and I could not take my eyes off you and all the pictures you evoked in me. I am so happy that all the guilt and shame that your church tried to implant into you did not result in a devastating illness and that the history of your ex-wife did not fulfill itself. You are alive, you will be able to see your kids grow up, to be a dad, to help them to make choices in life."
--J.V., San Francisco

"A non-LDS friend of mine saw the flyer for your monologue and I promptly got 4 tickets for him and me and two gay Mormon friends. Your presentation was so worth it. It exceeded my hopes to be lightly funny, brutally honest, and real to the core. It explained (better than I ever did to my non-LDS friends) why such a strict religious belief is such a strong part of my life and still such a contradiction to it. And yes . . . you fit the Utah boy image to a tee!"
--D.D., San Francisco

"I'd like to encourage you to write your story in a book to be shared with a wider audience. My hope is that by being exposed to our stories, that society can change over time to accept and in fact, love, gay men as we are. And, my hope is that as a result more of us will feel our lives do matter and that we do have something to live for. And finally, my hope is that eventually no young gay man will have to go through what I have, dealing with a life-threatening disease in my twenties."
--S.L., San Francisco


"I have to admit that I was ambivalent about going to the show. I also have to admit that I was very pleasantly surprised. I thought that you were brilliant. Your performance was so energetic. I laughed, I cried. I can't even imagine how cathartic it must have been to write and then to perform night after night. Your family, all of it, should be very proud of you! My reticence was pretty simple and maybe a little prudish. I never considered hustling to be an honorable employment choice for a bright, attractive young man. I know that being gay isn't a choice, but having sex for money is. That said, I'm glad to see that your experience resulted in a brilliantly creative endeavor."
--P.H., Miami

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Please readers if this show gets within 100 miles of you, go see it. Take a walk in our shoes. Maybe then the healing can begin. Love is the answer not hate. God is waiting so patiently. Please read the Bible section of this website. "Myth 3: God and the Bible are anti-gay." Read it and absorb it. Don't go in with a closed mind. What do your experiences tell you? Yes, the Bible is the word of God but it is also the word of Man. It is from the experiences of man. Man is not infallible. What were the cultures and experiences of the times that these passages were written? Are you giving the readings a true examination? Do you really try to understand what the passages are referring to? Or do you read them with your mind made up? Do you read them with a deep resentment of gay people? Do you use them to justify a deep seated dislike/ misunderstanding of gay people? Be honest with yourself. Your beliefs maybe more about you than they are about gays. Surprisingly, when you are more accepting and less judgmental, it will not only be the gays that win. You will also set yourself free.